someone or something kill me

who can kill me?
i damn suffering now...
i want concentrate my studies..
but i keep missing him...
what should i do?
who can help me?
i don't want like that anymore..
i don't want miss him anymore!!
but why? why i still can't do it?!
i really wanna die !!!!!!!!
god..please....
help me!!!!!!
i very suffer..
please let me disappear..
i wanna clear away all of this...
everyday live in suffer..
i really don't know i can hold until when!!!
i really don't know when i will jump from ixora!!!!
damn suffer!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
feel agonize...memory , please stop torture me...