我真的没有碰别人的东西...
为什么要那样冤枉我...

last night...

跟朋友去长K...
八点唱到一点...
有够厉害的...
哈哈....
今晚是我最后晚在马六甲了...
以后都不懂几时才能跟你们再见了....
好不舍得哦....
原来...我唱得到<王子的新衣>哦...(讲出来没人信)
我的高音还比我朋有的男朋友来得高叻...
结果...他飙输了...哈哈.....
来多一首离开地球表面,他撤底认输了...
哈哈....
今晚谢谢你们...
还有, 我今晚是第一次去CLUB哦....
里面的人多到....
好臭烟味...
进去不到五分钟我就出来了...
更丢脸的事, 那个人竟然要看我的身份证...
UNCLE, I AM 19 YEARS OLD ALREADY LIE.....
哈哈....
马六甲,再见了.............

goodbye...(T_T)

today is my last day i stay at melacca already....
mix feeling la....
start everything in here with 0,
then have to leave here with 100% what i has built at here...
my friends...
i really really really bu she de you all,
my housemate...my course mate...many many ...
and of course, the food at melacca...
wa...i like it so much....
i like this place...what a very peaceful city...
sharon, yuki, b0415 housemate ,liang chong, lan li,sze min...
and all my friend at mmu...
i bu she de you all....
1 year passing so fast...and now...i graduate my foundation liao...
become big big girl already...(haha)
to all my friend at mmu...
wanna say thanks and sorry if in a year i do any mistake, please forget ...
in a year who has help me...thanks you very much...
and..sure, i will miss you all de...
hope you all can have a highlight degree journey...all the best...
may GOD bless you all...
one year memory with you all, i won't forget it...
that also is a part that most highlight in my life..........
goodbye, melacca campus mmu...
goodbye, all my friend...
goodbye, my dearest housemate....
hope can keep in touch....
i love you all...
muackz.......

i make u angry ady...

我是故意惹你生气的...
而我也知道你很气很气...
因为你气到都不想理我了...
对不起...
只有那么做,你才会对我死心...
我才会把持住我的心...
我们...没有错...
只是错在时间上...
我们在错的时候遇上对人...
但不能跟你开始...
因为...
我想自己一个人...
我已习惯孤单的感觉了
我很累了...心也很累了....
我不想再去爱别人....
L...sorry....
我承认..
我的心会想你...
但除了你,还有别个人...
所以...还是算了吧....
祝福你能找到更好的女生....
你的条件不差...
你笑起来真的很好看....
我真的很喜欢看你笑的....
虽然你不笑是会更帅...
而且你还说有女生跟你示爱...
就证明你不会差...
以你的条件,没有女子喜欢才怪咯....
傻瓜,对不起了...
我也要快要离开了...在这里...也跟你说声>>>再见了....

^^

好久还久都没那么甜蜜的入睡了.....
读PBU读通宵....
结果所有被的都没有出在STRUCTURE....
考完回来倒下就睡了...
昨天...
你在信息里亲了我几次...
我给你的反应只是一笑直过...
无可否认...
你之前所说的....
是在测试我会否会接受你....
但每次....
我都装傻....
你这笨蛋看到我酱的反应...
还是傻呼呼的...
一直逗我开心....
你也知道...
我心里还有别人....
你也没有强求我...
说真的...
我不想有新的一段恋情...
比起他,你更成熟,你也知道我想要什么....
但...我只想维持现在这样....
你问我,如果有一天你不在这世界上了,
我会怎样...
我答:那你那冷冰冰的身体就拥抱不了我了...
你再问我,那我现在热腾腾的身体就拥抱得了你吗?
我说现在你不在我身边,怎么样拥抱我?
你再问,那如果现在在你身边呢?
这下,你难倒我了...
我不懂要怎么答你..
就跟你要求我保留这答案...
在考场看到你....
你在好远...
但当我看着你时,你也在对望着我....
跟我笑了笑...
看得出你很开心....
傻瓜....
你很可爱....
你让我的笑容挂在脸上...
而我朋友也说我那好久没看到的笑容...
最近一直出现在我脸上...
这...应该全是你的功劳吧....
我考试会加油的....

I DO

i deep love the drama ''i do''...
this drama..touch my heart...
and this is the first drama make me crying when i watching...
the raising action, the climax , and so on...
although now i am the loser in love...
but i still hope that someday i also will be like the character...
have a sweet ending...
this drama make me siao liao la...
watch many times already....
and...
crying many time...haha....
this drama quick not bad one..
you also can have a look...
shinling..add oil ya...
look forward...
MISS MY BUBU...

傻瓜...对不起

傻瓜....
记得我说的话....
不要放感情在我身上...
不然最后你会受伤的....
知道你对我好...
但如果接受你....
对你很不公平....
你知道吗?
维持现在这个阶段就好....
不需要为了我特的去学某些事情...
知道那样很傻很不值得吗?
还有...
请不要对我那么好....
我不能给你幸福....
对不起....
虽然多次暗示我...
而我总是拒绝...
因为...
我不想把你当作是代替品....

猜不透....

for you...
猜不透
你最近时好时坏的沉默
我也不想去追问太多
让试探为彼此的心上了锁
猜不透
相处会比分开还寂寞
两个人都只是得过且过
无法感受每次触摸
是真的 是热的
如果乎远乎近的洒脱是你要的自由
那我宁愿回到一个人生活
如果乎冷乎热的温柔是你的借口
那我宁愿对你从没认真过



猜不透
相处会比分开还寂寞
两个人都只是得过且过
无法感受每次触摸
是真的 是热的
如果乎远乎近的洒脱是你要的自由
那我宁愿回到一个人生活
如果乎冷乎热的温柔是你的借口
那我宁愿对你从没认真过
如果乎远乎近的洒脱是你要的自由
那我宁愿回到一个人生活
如果乎冷乎热的温柔是你的借口
那我宁愿对你从没认真过

到底这感觉谁对谁错
我已不想追求
越是在乎的人 越是猜不透

miss

30th of may...
do you still remember what day is this?
i think you wont forget....
this day...is our relationship beginning....
but in this year...we can't celebrate anymore...
because our relationship...has stopped...
i still don't know how to facing this day...
even i know you wont come back anymore....
damn missing you....
i miss your hug....
miss your smell....
i really miss you so much........
still need you....
what should i do?
how i stop my tears inside my heart?
how will it could be if i meet you someday?
i love you.....

sorry

我不想再去想了...
我不能接受你...
错的时候遇上对的人...
我该如何是好??
我...不想伤还你...
你明白吗?
对不起...对不起....
真的很对不起...
我不能那么自私...

dream of you again...
haiz...
bek tahan liao...
why you appear in my dream again and again...
dump...
pbu... i don't know want study what la...
already read the whole chapter, but when i do the pass year paper..
no one question i answer it...
how do pass in exam?
.....
GOD, please help me....
我的心...开始摇动了....
为什么会那样的...
请你不要对我酱好...
我还没有勇气再去开始新的感情...
对不起..

an old friend

today..a number that i haven see before appear on my mobile screen...
an old friend that lost contact has sms me...
quick unexpected, surprise and happy when i saw his msg...
and i know that he very good now...
this guys... got a bit like F4 members ...
but got a bit de...
haha...
have accounting paper today...
i done in blur condition....
seem like know how to do,
seem like i don't know i do what...
haiz...
hopefully can pass la...
my heart ... have a wave now...
when i hear someone call me ''傻瓜"
but this person...not him...
feel disappointed... i really hope ...
someday... i can hear that guy call me like that again...
but... don't know got this chance or not...
miss him...

what should i do?

what should i do now?
why i keep miss you again?
is not the right time..
i have to focus on my final..
what happen?
why my heart keep going on you?
why ?
i damn missing you...

a song inside my heart...

<给我最爱的人>

累了 照惯例努力清醒着
也照惯例想你了
好怕一放心睡了
心跳在梦中 不听话的 就停止了

听着 呼吸像浪潮拍动着
越没力越让我忐忑
我还能珍惜什么
如果我连自己的脉搏 都难掌握

如果我变成回忆 退出了这场生命
留下你错愕哭泣
我冰冷身体 拥抱不了你
想到我让深爱的你 人海孤独旅行
我会恨自己 如此狠心

如果我变成回忆 终于没那么幸运
没机会白著头发 蹒跚牵着你 看晚霞落尽
漫长时光总有一天你会伤心痊愈
若有人可以 让他陪你 我不怪你

快乐 什么时候会结束呢
哪一刻是最后一刻
想把你紧紧抱着
可知你是我生命中的 最舍不得

如果我变成回忆 退出了这场生命
留下你错愕哭泣
我冰冷身体 拥抱不了你
想到我让深爱的你 人海孤独旅行
我会恨自己 如此狠心

如果我变成回忆 终于没那么幸运
没机会白着头发 蹒跚牵着你 看晚霞落尽
漫长时光总有一天你会伤心痊愈
若有人可以 让他陪你

如果我变成回忆 最怕我太不争气
顽固的赖在空气 霸占你心里 每一寸缝隙
原来依然爱我的你 痛苦承受失去
这样不公平 请你尽力 把我忘记

今天...我又来想你了...
思念的心情,渡过今天的下午
我在想你...

an unexpected morning

just finish back from exam....
gonna siao liao...
1st part ok...but 2nd part... i think i give the marks to the lecture ....
why so hard de....
the tips also not accurate de...
i didn't follow just as well....wohahaha...
if not... 1st part also die ....
yesterday i slept at 3pm....
i can't sleep la.... don't know why....maybe feel stress...
and this morning...i wake up myself without the alarm o...
so geng...and is it at 7am....exam at 9am
so early..... normally 8 o clock class i also wake up at 7.30am...
gonna crazy ....
while i can't sleep yesterday...i start thinking the stupid thing again...
and ...my tears...come out again...
dump!

一首歌

一首歌,深深触动了我的心...
已经好久没有一首个能让我听了想流泪的...
一整天的心情,就沉醉于那触动人心的歌词里....
好喜欢这首歌...
漫长的下午...终于读完了五个SHORT STORY...
若不是考试会出...我不会那么拼去读...
有够无聊的...
明天就考试了...天天书不离手了...
我得加油了!!!其他的朋友也是哦~
天好暗...应该要下雨了...
我心里的雨...已经下到不会停了....

study study study...

study whole day.. my eyes almost close already..
but...why my brain seem like empty ??
account make me so blur ...
have to memorize all the formula...
and feeling very tired this day...
Monday is coming soon...
feel scare...feel tension...
even sleep also keep revise back what i have memorize...
i can't fail any subject in this sem ... i wanna continue my degree....
sometimes...
i really think that i study just for>>> pass my exam~
study without soul....
keep sneezes ...not got people miss me...
but is... i may getting sick soon....
haiz..... so blur today!!!
moody....
wanna read my twilight la...
but cannot....have to read all the note!!

haha...sure surprise right?
why my blog changes already~
sure somebody will ask... now i should study, do my revision ...
why still got time to design my blog...
answer is... i didn't curi tulang o...
i design my blog after study de...
i use my sleeping time to design it...
for me.. this is my hobby...i like to do those thing to relax myself...
and other thing is.. while i design my blog...my brain wont go and think other thing that i don't want to go to think about it....
although i feel tired~feel sleepy...
but i happy and enjoy it~
how do you all feel with this new look??
it that nice? any comment just tell me ya~
already 2pm...time to sleep.....(-_-) zZzZzz.........

..

have a little bit time come and post something...
now is study week...
everyday k book k until ki xiao...
haiz...
very blur..
many people sick recently la..
go down and da bao just now..
i have saw many people taking their medicine la...
all my friends...have to take care ya...
drink more water...
and good luck for all friends at mmu!!add oil~~
study again....haiz~

the pain you have give me...already enough..
but why you still hurt me?
the pain and pain that you gave me before is enough...
but why?
still hurting me?
once i stand up...
once you fall me down again and again...
please...stop it...
that is enough for me..
i can't accept the pain anymore...

sad

love him...for what?
why i still love him? love a guy who never love me anymore?
i cry x time for him already..will he know?
he wont? then why i still miss him?
why i still sad?
i want myself stand up...
but how?
my friend told me that he still joyful..
still like before...he never changes..
for him? who am i?
3 years relationship...for him, is nothing right?
how come he can be like that?
treat a girl like me like that?

that is an answer or juz a coincidence?

yesterday night before i sleep , i have told the GOD,
if i still have the chance with him..please raining at that night!
here already long time didn't get raining...
i also think i wont rain ...
unexpected...tat night...raining...
is raining...are the GOD told me the answer, or it just coincidence?
i don't know!
this guy, i deeply love him...
why? he not handsome, not tall, not as good as people think,he just a very ordinary guy,
but why i still love him?although he hurt me badly, why i still cannot let him go?
for me, this may or really not as good as people think..
i love him, not because his face, not because his height,
i love him..because no reason..
now...he want break up..
he told me he want freedom, he didn't love me anymore..
but i still deeply love him? let go? how to let go?
say is easy....nobody know, what is he thinking now!
and nobody can tell me and give me the confirm answer,
he will not love me back anymore or he will back someday..
and for this period, he will never care me anymore...
will not miss me anymore...
GOD...i just wanna let him know is...
please don't forget me ... have a girl still waiting him!
still love him...
no need he turn back to me now...
but i hope someday he will regret his decision today...
and come back to find me!
can?

for 'you'

我很想你,
没当想你,我什么都做不到了,
只有默默在流泪,
我想放下你,
但我放不到.
说当然容易,到做,真的比想像中难!
你,早已放下我了吧.
我些话想跟你说,
怕我来不及说了..
就写在这里吧:
我没有你真的很辛苦..
我天天都在哭..
你不知道,你在我心里占据着一个位字子,
现在我已不能承受这一切了..
我真的很爱你,
而你,已不爱我了,勉强你回来也是没有用..
我走了!如果遇到另个女生,
不要他那么残忍,
不要用同样的方式来爱他,
你可以给我双倍的幸福,也给了我双倍的痛苦,
你知道吗?
我会在天国守护你..
邦..我爱你...永别了!

the only solution

nobody know when i forget him,
when i can leave all the pain and suffer ,
but for now, i really suffering..
i can't support myself anymore,
no one can give me the answer,
scarify my whole life to forget a guy,
i know it is a stupid thing,
but...
at least i did n't need to think of him,
miss him,
when i miss him,
i cannot find him,
he won't have any reply..
i will get hurt..
so..die is the only solution to solve this problem,
i can leave those pain and suffer through this method..
sorry, mom..
nobody know how painful am i.
how suffer am i everyday..
this event have no solution to solve it..
i cannot go and solve this problem..]
except die..
that is the only solution!!

~

a doctor have told me before: '' gal,if can,don't easily make yourself injured, because of why? you blood inside your body not enough already..if the level drop again, you may have to blood filtering...
that why i told someone, i cannot be more thin ..
but that people always said i very fat! i always argue with him,47-48kg very fat ma?
then how many is count thin? 43kg?45kg?or less than 40kg?
for you...i maybe cannot make satisfy in anyway you want..
sorry...
i really don't want someday i really fainted in public..
i cannot loss my weight...
i don't want my face always look paleness..
even until now still look like that..
i know..i not a 100% girl friend in your heart..
but everything i try to do until reach 100%...
didn't mature...is one of my characteristic..
19 already...i know...not a child anymore..
sometimes i always do the stupid thing that people unexpected that i will go n do it..
like...i like watch movie(cartoon movie)...
maybe that is normal...
but i am the girl who like to watch bleach, naruto...
that kind of cartoon normally is for guys..
but i damn like it..
girls like to play the ''za bo''s game...
i also like...
but i more like the game which take the sword to kill the enemy...
don't know why...feel happy when i kill all the enemy sekali gus...
that feeling make feel very excited...
maybe you can said i abnormal de...
i will do what normally the guys will do...
but....
i am a girl ...
i also hope sometimes got people bully have someone to protect me..
i also need someone to love me...
i also hate the lonely feeling...
i can do whatever i can do by myself...
i can go the the stranger place by myself although i feel scare...
but break love...
it really make me falling down liao...
make me fall until cannot stand again...
those feeling, first time make me committing suicide..
make down in a long period...
make me lost..
make me forsake everything including my family...
because a guy, deserve or not?
of course i know not...
but i can't live like anymore...
everyday suffer..live for what?
when i miss him, i study...but my hand holding the note..
my soul don't know go where liao...
how to study?
keep looking the same word, but still cannot memorize...
every night awake few time...
the 2nd day cannot in good condition...
i live like a dead human...
with a body without soul..
i hate myself...
now...this people not shinling, but like other people..
like who?i also don't know...
tired..wanna sleep already..g9..

for u all

if i really leave someday..
dun cry for me,
hv to smile, coz i finally leave the pain.
u all can scold me stupid, i didn't love myself,
committing suicide bcoz a guy,
rite, if i pass away, u all not need go n scold him or wat else,
coz not he's fault.. love cannot be force.
i die, bcoz i want i cannot accept those painful and suffer anymore,
everyday live like tat, meaningless,
i can't concentrate to my studies,
final sure will fail..
for wat i continue live in this world?
my parents, wanna said sori to u all..
my fren , tq u all company me whole this period,
i cannot support myself anymore..
wish u all hv a good future and take good care!
bye

我很辛苦啊!

在我还没遇到你之前...我还是那个自卑的我...
从小,我就给人排挤...小时候总是有许多不堪回首的回忆,
自从遇到你,我才真正知道, 什么是快乐...
我终于知道,什么是幸福...
你给了我要的幸福,也没收回去了!
没有你,叫我怎么渡过这每一天?
我很辛苦...
我真的很辛苦...'
我不停问自己,为什么不能去忘记你,
为什么不能不去想你...
我很痛苦!而你也不会去理我有几辛苦,我的心有多痛!
因为我知道你会对我很绝....
为什么要酱对我,我到底哪里错了?
为什么要酱对我??!
为什么我就是不能恨你?
为什么对我那么绝?
我也是人啊,也是有感觉的,
我没有你想像中坚强!!
我很讨厌我自己啊!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!我每天都活在痛苦当中,
我很想有个解脱的啊法啊!
我不要酱了!!!很辛苦啊!!!
我不要一个人.......我需要你...
握很想你啊!!

someone or something kill me

who can kill me?
i damn suffering now...
i want concentrate my studies..
but i keep missing him...
what should i do?
who can help me?
i don't want like that anymore..
i don't want miss him anymore!!
but why? why i still can't do it?!
i really wanna die !!!!!!!!
god..please....
help me!!!!!!
i very suffer..
please let me disappear..
i wanna clear away all of this...
everyday live in suffer..
i really don't know i can hold until when!!!
i really don't know when i will jump from ixora!!!!
damn suffer!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
feel agonize...memory , please stop torture me...

我...到底该怎么办?
真的很怀念!
我还是放不下...
我不想放下...
我们的爱,真的回不来了吗?
你真的一点也不想我了?
我...已经失去爱人的勇气了...
不敢爱了...

tired

damn damn bust today..
very tired la...
now is 9.35pm..
but i want sleep liao...
but!!!
i cannot sleep..
i still haven prepare the quiz for tomorrow...
my eyes cannot open liao...
but still have to tahan la...-_-
sleepyy....

heart pain

这几天..我的心一用力就痛了...
怎么了? 那种痛...不会很痛,但却能觉得呼吸很难..
我...到底怎么了?
心脏出了问题吗?
还是...我真的就快走了?
<心>...真的痛了!
我...不能适应没有你的日子...