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a doctor have told me before: '' gal,if can,don't easily make yourself injured, because of why? you blood inside your body not enough already..if the level drop again, you may have to blood filtering...
that why i told someone, i cannot be more thin ..
but that people always said i very fat! i always argue with him,47-48kg very fat ma?
then how many is count thin? 43kg?45kg?or less than 40kg?
for you...i maybe cannot make satisfy in anyway you want..
sorry...
i really don't want someday i really fainted in public..
i cannot loss my weight...
i don't want my face always look paleness..
even until now still look like that..
i know..i not a 100% girl friend in your heart..
but everything i try to do until reach 100%...
didn't mature...is one of my characteristic..
19 already...i know...not a child anymore..
sometimes i always do the stupid thing that people unexpected that i will go n do it..
like...i like watch movie(cartoon movie)...
maybe that is normal...
but i am the girl who like to watch bleach, naruto...
that kind of cartoon normally is for guys..
but i damn like it..
girls like to play the ''za bo''s game...
i also like...
but i more like the game which take the sword to kill the enemy...
don't know why...feel happy when i kill all the enemy sekali gus...
that feeling make feel very excited...
maybe you can said i abnormal de...
i will do what normally the guys will do...
but....
i am a girl ...
i also hope sometimes got people bully have someone to protect me..
i also need someone to love me...
i also hate the lonely feeling...
i can do whatever i can do by myself...
i can go the the stranger place by myself although i feel scare...
but break love...
it really make me falling down liao...
make me fall until cannot stand again...
those feeling, first time make me committing suicide..
make down in a long period...
make me lost..
make me forsake everything including my family...
because a guy, deserve or not?
of course i know not...
but i can't live like anymore...
everyday suffer..live for what?
when i miss him, i study...but my hand holding the note..
my soul don't know go where liao...
how to study?
keep looking the same word, but still cannot memorize...
every night awake few time...
the 2nd day cannot in good condition...
i live like a dead human...
with a body without soul..
i hate myself...
now...this people not shinling, but like other people..
like who?i also don't know...
tired..wanna sleep already..g9..